Yes, humans suck– that’s a universal The reason we haven’t been able to fix it is that being a human doesn’t suck for eve…
All men come with self-destruct bu… If he seems to be missing one, you’re the button
Faith can only move mountains by ignoring mountains of evidence Like most people who’ve lost their… I’ve retained my ability to ignore mountains of evidence
I thought my alarm clock woke me up each day but the day I realized it had always been a false alarm was the day I realized
I want to believe in God I believe in UFOs I don’t believe in recycling I don’t want to believe in what th…
Which came first The morals Or the justification Hint: The #1 excuse
The days of having a cold spell have given way to the era of casting a cold spell
It’s important to me to live in a… with museums, big league sports, n… so that I can enjoy staying home Baltimore has a subway I’ve never… When I lived in Los Angeles I ac…
The fog of war is not knowing what’s coming next The fog of peace is thinking you know
The world is An interrogation room And God is behind The two-way mirror
I can’t guess your age but I can guess your age when you got that tattoo
The devil’s one job Is making you an offer You can’t refuse And there’s only one thing The devil can’t offer
I wasn’t shocked when scientists announced that a universe already infinitely… could still be expanding because I do have an ego
If husbands were like pro basketball players I’d be an all star but one with an exceptionally low trade value
The whole key To reinventing the wheel with cybe… Was making the ratio of the circum… Of a circle to its diameter A rational number
