When success is made mandatory for all it becomes impossible for any

I was born in the summer of my 47th year coming home to a place my mazel’d ever been before

Originally it was about Michael Bike and called Bike Rider

Civilization is an attempt to filibuster death

When I picked candy apples as my… (think spirit animals for foodies) I honestly had no idea I was naturally sweet but laid it on way too thick

Theoretically, Schrodinger’s Cat is both alive and dead at the same time In reality, cats have nine lives and one death

I don’t care about birds but I thrill when the squirrels can’t get to the birdseed

I don’t get mad I get odd

Democracy was superseded not by a police state but by a witness protection progra…

God: Do you trust me? Me: It’s not my fault!

One would think the earth is flat “Unless” as the Coen brothers put it “round is funny”

You have your Mr. Fix-It and your Mr. Learn-To-Live-With-It

No one loves a woman like her man and no one loves capitalism like its Marxists In each case

When we restrict someone’s space i… we say that they are doing time implying that the rest of us are doing spacetime You do time

The Cookie Monster is just living up to the name Kermit gave him