One of the great things about bein… Or, in my case, becoming Jewish Is that every Jew has a voice So, you would be forgiven for thin… Two Jews, two opinions

I couldn’t believe that my first e… was still carrying a torch for me and then I saw all my other ex’s b… carrying a pitch fork

Male materialists rarely make for marriage material because in their insistence that life’s not fair they further insist

Yes, I am most afraid of losing c… But you can’t lose what you don’t… So, I’m afraid of nothing Which is how you die alone The only way to live together

Human beings have always used the symbolic to navigate the real; until recently we did so by imagining that the symbolic is rea… whereas scientists imagine that

It’s important to me to live in a… with museums, big league sports, n… so that I can enjoy staying home Baltimore has a subway I’ve never… When I lived in Los Angeles I ac…

In Putin’s version of Let’s Make… he shows you what’s behind Door #1… - You let Putin run you through w… AND what’s behind Door #2: - You fall on your sword to atone…

Domination is feudal But resistance seems futile And lo, we canoodle With the large standard poodle We all know as boodle

A record sounds the same every time you play it A broken record is intolerable because it isn’t broken, it’s just…

The devil used to be a buyer of so… But now he’s a seller To the Big Five tech companies Because the money is just too good How does the devil sell

It’s not for me to judge What is it? Me And I’ve gotta be me So, free will consists of

When I risk loss for those who are lost only then shall we both be found

I’ll give you the forest And I’ll take the trees You save the whales And I’ll keep the bees The sand in your eyes

Takeoff always happens just as we are running out of runway

I may not be the man who has everything but I’m the man who knows what to get for the man who has everything