When they closed all the beaches my dad said not to worry and I just knew he’d install the swimming pool I’d always wante… Instead, I came home from school

Male materialists rarely make for marriage material because in their insistence that life’s not fair they further insist

I’ve been gaining valuable experie… In on-the-job training It’s a big job But somebody’s got to do it– I’m learning how to predict the fu…

They used to pay us A penny for our thoughts But then they realized We would pay them To think for us

The opposite of bad breath Isn’t good breath It’s fresh breath Because all breath is good So, you never have to hold your br…

One party rule Finally clicked in America When the ruling party rebranded As the Pajama Party

Facing a fate worse than death– Immortality with neither body nor… Because Nothing ventured, nothing lost– Life is worth dying for

A smartphone with AI is to a person as a person is to a horse

My wife is a lot like God If God weren’t perfect Like Him, she’s my toughest criti… But also my fiercest champion

I always wondered why there are several teen archetypes on offer in The Breakfast Club– each with their own exquisite agon… but also the promise of redemption…

My wife is R2-D2 Which, of course Makes me C-3PO She is constantly getting us into… In order to save us from ourselves

People don’t generally like instru… because music without words is just math come alive Adding words to music takes it from counting time

Faith is an act of will power And since faith isn’t knowledge Because it necessarily involves do… For now, the act is always a predi… I will believe

No one can describe exactly What it was like When God spoke directly to all 2… At Mt. Sinai Because it was the only time

If you don’t trust God You try to control others But eventually find That you can’t control those Who trust in God