Fox News said it was “Fair and B… which supposedly meant that it was… because it was balanced but really it meant that it was fa… because it wasn’t balanced–

I wear black socks On the outside Because black is how I feel In the onside

God is hard to know– That’s how you know He is God And how He knows you care Whereas the devil doesn’t care How you found him

In wristwatch advertisements the doomsday clock is always set to ten past ten

Early on a Friday morning Just before I awakened My rabbi said, in a dream So, this is the way the Torah wor… But before he could explain

The second we try Patience Is the moment we stop trying God’… Patience

I trusted the process It wrought processed food I’m still processing

Marriage is the only place I’m neither feature nor bug but both

There is hiding yourself and there is hiding from yourself; the former is often

Theoretically, Schrodinger’s Cat is both alive and dead at the same time In reality, cats have nine lives and one death

There Is Always Room For

Some people are orchids Some people are dandelions Some people like the ugly duckling are orchids who think they’re dand…

You can’t know what you will decid… But you will know when you have de… You can’t know how you will act on… But you already know what is at st… Everything hangs in the balance;

Life is simple; the meaning of life is complicated As a man I’m a simple creature but I’ve been married long enough… that women are complicated

Life = Trial by fire Death = Trial by firing squad