It’s said you become what you hate; I hate losing things

In Putin’s version of Let’s Make… he shows you what’s behind Door #1… - You let Putin run you through w… AND what’s behind Door #2: - You fall on your sword to atone…

Men are from Mars Women are from everywhere else

Under new management, hell now consists of friendly fire

The fatal mistake Is taking his weakness For kindness

In the first take of Braveheart’s… Mel Gibson directed William Wall… “Freedom and responsibility!” But as a practiced antisemite Gibson quickly realized his error

Happiness is the moment after the weight of the world is lifted from your shoulders and before it lands on your toe

There are only two real superpowers: unacknowledged plagiarism and begrudging cooperation

I used to stand on the moral high ground to look myself in the eye but now that I’ve plucked it out and thrown it away

I always thought it didn’t matter if human beings really had free will as long as they experienced the wo… as if they did;

Time is a one way road that only goes forward so that you know which direction t… but you can still go the wrong way down a one way road

When I was a child The most authoritarian teacher Exerted her control through Silent lunch Yesterday, in the cafeteria

I always thought saying slide trombone was like saying pizza pie until I heard about the valve trombone

The narcissist is a two—sided coin… Heads, I need you Tails, I hate you– and the more you meet a narcissist… the more they will hate you

All cars have always been getaway cars because they tell the world how much you’re getting away with but now all cars are SUVs