When I was a baby My mother wiped my bum Social media, then, is the fountai… As I become its obedient child Every time it wipes my memory

Old habits are hard to break but impossible to make New habits, like flossing, are easy to make

You must go on. I can’t go on. I’ll ramble on.

You’re not allowed to copy from your neighbor because you’re supposed to copy from your teacher

One of the great rabbinic sages ex… That this world’s three most inten… Are Jews, dogs, and roosters My take? No one greets the day like a roost…

My astrologer credited her work wi… for the discovery of a thirteenth… Jello the Jellyfish which shares the sting of my erstw… but is distinguished by a spineles…

It is only when you conduct a fearless moral inventory that you will come to fear God because you knew the right thing t… but did the wrong thing anyway

If nothing is possible Because of the inevitable– We mortals all die in the end– Then we are left to do the impossi… And become immortal by

We spend our whole lives going in… Our mistake is believing that we’r… When we’re always either Slowly spiraling upwards Or caught in a downward spiral

When I said That’s none of your business they replied Actually, that’s our entire busine…

People need to be a part of someth… And light is both a particle and a… Surfing, then, is a mystical union… But the internet is a tsunami And surfing the web a death wish

Given a choice I’d rather open a restau– rant than my marriage

This is the stage in history where we all give constructive cri… to the demolition crew

The Declaration of Independence w… revised to guarantee life, security and the pursuit of criminals

I was happily feeding at the trough when I noticed it had been filled with finger food