Asked to account for his success w… he explained that he drives his ca… like he won it on The Price Is R…

In comic books Superheroes assume a secret identi… In order to fool others So they can continue to serve othe… In real life

Marriage is the only place I’m neither feature nor bug but both

No one wanted to wear augmented reality goggles until our design team hit upon the idea of making them look

I tried using my get out of jail free card but the CVV on the back was Roman Numerals for eleven

When God says Do what you want He knows You’re going to anyway His risk is betting you want

The ferocity of narcissistic rage Is in direct proportion to the dis… The depths of their contempt And the heights of their self-rega… Healing for the narcissist will on…

We guard the thin line between love and hate by loving more But we cross the thin line between self-love and self-hate

The Cookie Monster is just living up to the name Kermit gave him

My grandfather built his house With his own hands And yet later in life Cut off half his thumb with a chai… If Alanis Morissette is right

The liberal who makes an illiberal… inevitably wants to have it both w… thereby tightening his own double… I must be free to have power over… but

It’s not that I’ve often taken leave of my senses but that I can never take a hint

Life has given us pumpkins ostensibly for carving and smashing but I smell an opportunity though the opportunity cost

Free will consists of recognizing the inevitable and choosing wisely

Reasonable people can disagree By agreeing to disagree But unreasonable people Can’t disagree on anything So, they have to agree on everythi…