The lie you chose to believe Always contains the truth That has chosen you The lie is comforting Because the truth is disturbing
When at last my colleagues convinced me to go out after work and I’d relaxed enough to drop my… everyone could finally see my helm…
The banyan tree grows up around a host tree which eventually dies leaving the banyan hollow at its c…
Here’s the deal: You have no say in any of this but that doesn’t mean you can’t still have your way if you learn to see things our way
If you cut off an arm you are left with a stump to which you affix a prosthetic If you cut off a face you are left with a mask
We can’t fool God But we can fool ourselves into thi… We fooled God The surest way to do so Is to fool ourselves into thinking
When hell freezes over we’ll all skate on our sins
I put out a comedy album Side A was called Wins Side B was called Losses Only one side was funny
My matchmaker couldn’t find me any… but she suggested I go to the bing… and focus on the woman who played the most cards per game
Civilization is an attempt to filibuster death
My wife I mean my life Is a fulfillment of dreams Where I wish I were wearing pants
I’m not afraid of rejection– Life is a series of rejections Until you learn that Life goes on I’m afraid of abject humiliation
It took years of therapy but the octopus finally arrived at… that the reason she didn’t like th… was because they were so much alik…
Updating Nietzsche with a nod to Vince Lombardi Art isn’t the proper task of life; it’s the only task of life if life…
Faith can only move mountains by ignoring mountains of evidence Like most people who’ve lost their… I’ve retained my ability to ignore mountains of evidence
