The stapler inevitably jams And it’s always the stapler That jams the copier Except for the times it jams When you try to copy something you…

Two things can be true at the same… 1. Logic tells us what we can and… 2. Paradox tells us God can do wh… More importantly God sees what we cannot do

Miss Suzie had a scapegoat The scapegoat was Hillel Miss Suzie went to heaven The scapegoat went to Hello terminator

We are not material beings; We are embodied spiritual beings Language is how the spirit moves u… As in moves our bodies– Especially when words are set to m…

If you’re going to take sick leave… take FMLA

I had just started explaining smar… When the alien stopped me in mid-s… And explained smart phones to me Originally, in order to monitor an… They were just going to attach

In the past they randomly distributed blanks amongst the firing squad so that you’d never know if you were really executing enemy…

I knew Remain was in trouble when they announced that a vote fo… was also a vote in favor of renami… Brexit McBrexitface

As Amazon Prime Minister I’m ringleader of the carefree world

Negative theology collapsed when it became apparent God was sanguine

Growing up was hard enough when we just had cliques not today’s clicks upon cliques

Many people think of life as a gift but to me it’s more like

Note that the male tes– tes are exactly the size of small potatoes

Power is the ability To maintain your non-negotiables And the world to come Will arrive when we stop trying To negotiate a new deal with God

The best way to prevent something from happenin… is to convince people that it already did