What if Vladimir and Estragon had actually been stalling for Godot

It wasn’t false modesty exactly You might call it un-unpretentious if you were being pretentious

Everyone makes fun of the weatherman for getting the forecast wrong as if getting it right is his real job

Women are attracted to men who tak… Because it’s the best possible clu… That he would risk his life for he…

It takes talent to write a hit pie… but anyone can write a puff piece that in thirty years will read as a hit piece

My dreams are no longer about wish fulfillment but about the Amazon fulfillment center

Chaucer said All good things must come to an en… Which was widely If begrudgingly Accepted as a good thing

I want what you want so I want a cow

Life’s greatest mystery is how other people could possibly have as little interest in my Spotify playlists

The difference between God and human beings Is that God gives you what you deserve Which is always what you need

Privacy is when everyone can see you but no one is watching Surveillance is when no one can see you

I’ve started blind copying my wife on emails to myself

It’s not that we are past The point of no return But that we the people Have invested our life savings In scorn for our neighbor

A planning committee’s second most… Is coming up with a plan That everyone can agree to But no one is happy with This sounds strange until you real…