The only colleges left standing will be the ones that can make you look smart while you’re playing dumb

Because there is no I in lions, if a lion could talk, it couldn’t say I Which is to say, a lion can starve but never lacks,

You must go on. I can’t go on. I’ll ramble on.

On the one hand even the talking cure can’t cure death On the other hand you can’t talk it to death

We’re always free to serve ourselves– Liberation is the process of freely choosing to serve others

Beware the self-loathing salesman who loves what he does– If you buy what he’s selling then you bought it because you broke it

Our central moral sentiment– that doing the right thing is its… hasn’t done us much good because through it we live in deni… that in this world

Which came first The morals Or the justification Hint: The #1 excuse

The people will never accept the f… that the one thing missing from an effective conspiracy is conspir… so they keep looking for the inexi… always expecting to find them

Home isn’t Where you go And they have to take you in No such place exists Home is

If Star Wars is actually told From R2-D2’s perspective Then our only hope Is that God lets us go on believi… We are more powerful

For years I sojourned as a humble… Hanging all my hopes On one day emerging as a brilliant… For my moment in the sun Inching ever forward towards the s…

I thought the Protestant work eth… I saw all the lazy rivers in peopl… until I noticed they were each swi… against the current

You can either learn to ride a bik… with no hands in order to show off or to free your hands for another task

The original version’s working title was The Giveth and Taketh Away Tree but Silverstein couldn’t get it published