Fox News said it was “Fair and B… which supposedly meant that it was… because it was balanced but really it meant that it was fa… because it wasn’t balanced–

Frequently, God’s light is like sun glare, telling me to slow the heck down

Happy me, happy precis: Happy wife, happy life

You could say I tried stand-up but for the audience it was more like when the flight attendant demonstrates how to put on your own oxygen mask…

For years I sojourned as a humble… Hanging all my hopes On one day emerging as a brilliant… For my moment in the sun Inching ever forward towards the s…

That moment when you reclassify yourself from a mystery to an unsolved mystery

She may have lost the 2016 electio… but Hillary Clinton can claim a moral tie

If you need to appear weak to access power you’ll end up weak-kneed and abuse your power

Accustomed to the view from their… the rich had no idea they were fas… a very steep waterfall

I thought I could keep the family… until I realized I was the family… So, all the time I was afraid of… the family’s dirty laundry I was already wearing

When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs

Every ego is a God complex And like you I almost had myself convinced that I am who I am

People thought they could finally come and go as they pleased if they could just be rid of the g… only to find in their absence not just more and bigger gates

Humble pie is A required taste Until it becomes An acquired taste

A people pleaser pretends to live in Youtopia but really resides in Myopia because all he can see is what he needs from you