People are like whales who have gotten sick of plankton

Marriage is the only place I’m neither feature nor bug but both

Civilization is an attempt to filibuster death

During the rodeo clown shortage nobody thought that the rodeo mime… but the mimes surprised everyone distracting the bulls by silently evoking the dignity

Our lightweight cat litter develop… hit a speed bump when we realized it was worth its weight in gold

I used to think the way it works i… if it’s true then you believe it Later, I thought if you believe it

One difference between God and A… Is that God tests our faith Because He has faith in us Whereas AI tests our patience Because it is supposed to make lif…

Skulls of Roman glad– iators indicate high rates of C.T.E.

An overreaction used to tell you who was guilty Now it’s just another link in

I know the world is round from experience: I ran from the truth for so long that I ran smack into it

You know you must die and yet you must live You can never know if you’re right and yet you must choose So it’s not

Now you only get to choose which hill you’re going to comply on

It’s not that you’re jeal– ous, but that you guard your jeal– ousy jealously

To whom it may concern: Time travel is impossible

You need a high in– come to claim the moral high ground on your taxes