We all have stuff With our stuff we do our thing Our thing is making a mess Which is called creation Our mistake is thinking we need to…

Big Brother used to just Cross his fingers To avoid telling the truth Then uncrossed them into a V for Vacancy

I used to say Nothing to see here but now that I’ve embraced transparency there really is

You cannot beat God in any sport but you can tie Him in bowling

When I got to the front of the self-checkout line I assumed there’d be a mirror but to my surprise and delight it was even better than I’d hoped

You can’t put a square peg in a round hole but you can put a JPEG in a memory hole

The difference between the Pax Romana and the Pax Americana is that while all roads lead to Rome

An uninterrupted winning streak Can only be had through An unchanging mean streak

Before the culture war you could talk to someone anyone say what you think and, when necessary, append a

You’ve used others When you use your talents To serve yourself You’ve used God When you use your talents

First, we learn how to walk Then we learn how to walk away For many of us This takes the rest of our lives But if we never give up

We got the five day work week because that’s how long it takes a python to digest it’s meal

Upon my retirement I thought to myself Maybe now I can get some work don…

Google Glass never took because smart phones are a prosthetic for the hands not the eyes

If a tree falls in the forest and your husband is there does it make a sound