Our grueling cascade of online spa… Is like the spider’s prey’s strugg… Designed to exhaust us As the spider patiently looks on Motionless

When they shut down Ringling Bros… a down on his luck clown looked into a second career as a m… but was informed that the mimes were only accepting applications f…

There used to be two types of peop… Those who wanted to Go ahead and get it over with And those who wanted to postpone t… This enabled some degree of self-s…

Instead of dismantling oppression we dismantled the printing press inaugurating the Information Age when no news is good news all information is disinformation

Mother Goose was always considere… a good enough mother Until lately we realized her failure to smother It was unanimous

It used to be that if you were obscure you had to be able to handle the truth and if you were famous

Big Brother used to just Cross his fingers To avoid telling the truth Then uncrossed them into a V for Vacancy

A wise man once told me that there are two kinds of family prob… He said Family Problem #1 is not having a family

Every night when Smokey Bear would tuck me in… the last thing he always said was Only you can prevent forest fires

When people ask Business or pleasure? I want to say Life’s only pleasure Is unfinished business

The pleasure in a magic show is wondering how the magician did it

You have bathed in the Fountain o… Every time you wash off the sweat After a hard day’s work

The only way to survive being abandoned is to love with abandon

The saying goes: We learn from the past, but we don… But the reverse is also true: If we don’t learn from the past, t… In other words

Because it’s so hellacious transmuting lead into gold the people pleaser finds it heavenly to degrade gold into lead