God is the world’s only super-bower

In failing to put the I in team I took the erotic out of neurotic

We used to have the haves and the have nots But then the haves were further subdivided into the haves and the have to

We are all of us unreliable narrators Some of us just make a living at it

It’s up to us Whether we do what we know is wron… Because it feels good in the momen… But if we do The devil is always there

Instead of a scythe the mirthful reaper carried balloo… and we just floated away

The people will never accept the f… that the one thing missing from an effective conspiracy is conspir… so they keep looking for the inexi… always expecting to find them

When I said That’s none of your business they replied Actually, that’s our entire busine…

Being human beings Pacifists are just as obsessed With wielding power As everybody else And just as pathological as those

It was only after The social media firestorm Had burned our civilization down That we rose from the ashes Like a phoenix

Whereas Stanford decided to make its mascot a tree my wife is a decision tree and I am her mascot even though I couldn’t get into S…

Social media has made the famous so accessible that it’s like you can see the face of… but instead of dying you want to take a nap

Setting aside crimes of passion, when people commit crimes it’s eit… they think they can get away with… or because they want to get caught Either way, they’re guilty;

Excuse me, Are you still Taking excuses?