In the age of divorce It needs to be said: If you don’t want to end up divorc… Do not covet your neighbor’s ex-wi…
As Amazon Prime Minister I’m ringleader of the carefree world
He was the kind of husband who when his wife asked him to stop sa… complied but started looking for excuses to… panda bear
One woman’s sunk cost is another woman’s sunken treasure
The dream has always been To build a time machine And go back in time To change the present But some things never change–
The people will never accept the f… that the one thing missing from an effective conspiracy is conspir… so they keep looking for the inexi… always expecting to find them
The lie you chose to believe Always contains the truth That has chosen you The lie is comforting Because the truth is disturbing
Generation X Marks the Spot Where a hex Is an aught But a flex
100% of success is showing up on time
I know the world is round from experience: I ran from the truth for so long that I ran smack into it
I don’t know what being alone with your thoughts is like for you but for me it’s like I’m watching them
Yes, I am most afraid of losing c… But you can’t lose what you don’t… So, I’m afraid of nothing Which is how you die alone The only way to live together
7 in 10 Americans believe in heave… while only 6 in 10 believe in hell which is why the house always wins
You can’t watch sports these days… Father Time is undefeated Which is when I always quote Saul… “Vait a minute. Vat about Rocky…
Am I winning If I am Beating a dead horse
