I used to stand on the moral high ground to look myself in the eye but now that I’ve plucked it out and thrown it away

We are on the cusp of a great cala… The war of all against all Will commence as soon as No one lifts a finger Do not be fooled–

My handwriting analyst said my electronic signature indicates a Type A personality and that’s all she sees anymore I said

I thought I was too smart for my own good But happily, I’d overestimated my… and I was just smart enough to be vaporous

In the world to come The United Nations will finally r… If you can’t beat ‘em Join ‘em

A smartphone with AI is to a person as a person is to a horse

In 2019 KLM Airlines began advertising that you should take the train instead; it felt like being asked to open up the marriage

Your life, like everyone else’s will eventually accept death’s pro… and maybe it’s because from the moment you were born death has been saying yes to life

Power is a measure of the capacity to cope with our lack of control and in wielding our power to take control

One would think the earth is flat “Unless” as the Coen brothers put it “round is funny”

I thought they’d finally say Mea culpa But they still just said Me

You can’t study for the purity test but you can copy from your neighbor

When they shut down Ringling Bros… a down on his luck clown looked into a second career as a m… but was informed that the mimes were only accepting applications f…

One woman’s sunk cost is another woman’s sunken treasure

I’ve now reached the age when anticipation con– sists of nostalgia