I always wondered if mimes were a type of clown until having my mind blown by the insight that

In the new version of Heads I win, tails you lose People hate to be wrong But love to apologize And if you accept their apology

Knowing that everyone agrees you remind them of indoor furniture on the porch tells you nothing about what each of them thinks of you

Humble pie is A required taste Until it becomes An acquired taste

My grandfather built his house With his own hands And yet later in life Cut off half his thumb with a chai… If Alanis Morissette is right

I can’t guess your age but I can guess your age when you got that tattoo

Where once I feared death Now I fear that Death will be anticlimactic

For twenty years people kept insis… that there was an elephant in the… but I just didn’t see it And then I realized I was the elephant

Life can seem meaningless But I’ve found that Meaning is never lifeless

In this earthly abode ‘Twas sadness that flowed With each new download Of binary code To ease our workload

They used to pay us A penny for our thoughts But then they realized We would pay them To think for us

You’re only truly clever When the devil says “Live forever If only from God you’ll sever” And you reply “Never For God is always my lever

Everybody talks about the lack of movies for grown-ups but no one mentions the absence of grown-ups Of course, without grown-ups

Inasmuch as handling gold is always a thorny affair all gold is rose gold but black gold

We mistake the feeling of control for the feeling of freedom when freedom actually consists of the courage to take risks Those who encourage us