I had just started explaining smar… When the alien stopped me in mid-s… And explained smart phones to me Originally, in order to monitor an… They were just going to attach
I am not who I think I am I am not who you think I am And I am not even who I think you… I am who I-Am-Who-I-Am thinks I…
Each and every TikTok is a remake of the Zapruder film
When people meet me they typically think I’m a sensitive guy but later they realize I’m a time sensitive guy
My mid-life crisis is the fear that my tombstone epit… Like chicken, he went with everyth…
Poets are to their poems As parents are to their children Preparing them for the world Without knowing what they will do
When I said That’s none of your business they replied Actually, that’s our entire busine…
The older I get the less I pause for effect This is because the clock is ticking and I’d rather not waste my time
Like many people I have dreams in which I’m flying but in mine I’m always flying
You can’t study for the purity test but you can copy from your neighbor
Were I not happily married to my Jewish bride I would have happily lived out the rest of my days none the wiser
God is a verb Woman is a noun And man is an adjective Put them together and you have Moderate
A lot of brainiacs fail to believe… Because their excellent brains Fail the brainiacs What does a brain do? Because of the ever-shifting tides…
There are neither good people nor normal people just people who are good at sticki…
You don’t have to have children To help raise the children And you can have children Without working at it Raising children
