I thought my alarm clock woke me up each day but the day I realized it had always been a false alarm was the day I realized
You would think doing well on social media would give you strength in numbers but you only end up
Insanity is also seeing people do the same thing over and over again and expecting them to let you cons…
It was always true that if you tried to save the relationship by looking the other way eventually they’d want to be
The first thing I fell in love with was her out-of-office notification
Both my parents were tall and I ended up a shrimp Not coincidentally, my diet has al… largely consisted of pink flamingo… though scientists insist that it’s…
Pay attention to what is said: “One day we hope to enable every p… to feel as strong a sense of conne… as you feel when you’re physically with someone you love”
I risked loss And lost; I win
One year Has seven dog years And one of God’s weeks Has seven days Accordingly
My handwriting analyst said my electronic signature indicates a Type A personality and that’s all she sees anymore I said
You seem to have caught me in a gr… But it can’t be at all my fault if As you’ll see in the hieroglyph My back is to the cliff Over which the lemmings drift
A student’s job has always been to put received knowledge into their own words or, more simply to state the obvious
Known knowns: Who I think you think I am Known unknowns: Who you think I am Unknown unknowns:
Afraid that everything I wanted was nothing to write home about I was left with nothing to write home about
I spent most of my life naively believing that people mean what they say Then I came to understand that even when people don’t mean what t…
