It’s important to me to live in a… with museums, big league sports, n… so that I can enjoy staying home Baltimore has a subway I’ve never… When I lived in Los Angeles I ac…

More than anything else They want to kill Jews Because More than anything else They need to be right

In the old country song When Mac Davis sings “Oh lord it’s hard to be humble When you’re perfect in every way” I always assumed

I could do a passable moonwalk in socks on linoleum but if I put on one glove I had to take off one sock

Upon my retirement I thought to myself Maybe now I can get some work don…

When you have to share everything else you can still hog the blame pie

This ain’t culture war– it’s one cult in action with two rival factions

I can demand control Of my fear Or I can accept That I am not in control And be not afraid

Everyone has a shoe size and a city size– I wear an 11 and a half and a 600,000

The old playbook was all about helping you know the right time to go for it

Some families hide the truth in pl… By laughing at it Although it gets confusing for a c… When the truth is a joke That can’t be told

We went from wearing galoshes over… to wearing galoshes over our shoes… to wearing galoshes as shoes and now we wear galoshes over galo…

My ego is too big

What you have done is unacceptable Nevertheless I accept that God has given it to… So that Like Him and through Him

I have just complet– ed my memoirs: One Hundred Years of Solid Food