My constant sense of dread Was just a case Of perpetual stage fright In a never-ending performance of c… Now that I’ve dropped the act

In Putin’s version of Let’s Make… he shows you what’s behind Door #1… - You let Putin run you through w… AND what’s behind Door #2: - You fall on your sword to atone…

A people pleaser pretends to live in Youtopia but really resides in Myopia because all he can see is what he needs from you

I’ve been racking my brains for the perfect response to accusations of perfectionism only to land at a conundrum: a confession of false modesty is

Everything on the internet is too… To call Leaving everything undecided But for this– We should all be worried

The second we try Patience Is the moment we stop trying God’… Patience

Most people can get away with sweeping a few things under the ru… but when I started working at the… I couldn’t help noticing how the rugs looked like

Time is money But time stops at the speed of lig… Which means the buck stops, too Making enlightenment the act of ta… For how you’ve spent your time

The makers of Fitbit Bring you the Pleasure Measure Because after you get your steps i… It’s time to get your fun done!

When the cat’s away the mice will be paralyzed by all the choices

All consciousness is false consciousness but some consciousnesses are easier to fake

Now that everyone else is also holier than thou Our far left raised the stakes becoming holier than Mao With slogans of piffle

The opposite of bad breath Isn’t good breath It’s fresh breath Because all breath is good So, you never have to hold your br…

Human beings need to compete for what they want To ruin human beings try meeting their needs

Growing up was hard enough when we just had cliques not today’s clicks upon cliques