Now that mindfulness is the official state religion the attention economy will be centrally planned
Your eyes are your tools For processing light But don’t trust the process– Trust the light
Step up to bat– It’s you against the world First base– Doubt yourself Second base–
If you want to know what the quarantine was like for me walk a mile in my new leather sweatpants
People used to kill the goose that laid the golden egg because they wanted more gold
God: Do you trust me? Me: It’s not my fault!
I believe in a future in which man perfects the art of expressing his discontent in bushes that look like clouds
Crypto is for the solvent Crypto is a solvent Invest amongst yourselves
The crucial ingredient for random mutation to drive evolution is a surplus of time But nothing
It was only after we debuted our sugar coated raisins to fight back against Craisins that I realized you could win hearts and minds
In France everyone thinks Scotch tape is crap
It’s taken me this long to underst… like Pee Wee Herman I meant to do that though I’m still unsure why Because as hard as it’s been
Post-pandemic life is like being a… Who comes home only to find Her parents have replaced Her obviously dead goldfish With a new one
Life has given us pumpkins ostensibly for carving and smashing but I smell an opportunity though the opportunity cost
It is said that The truth will set you free And while this may be true It goes without saying that Lies will give you power over othe…