God said satis– faction guaranteed; religion is all the fine print

Why bother keeping score when death assures that things always end in a tie Soon you’ll be able to get rid of death

We talk about current times But time is a current That gives us our power We hate death Seeing it as the loss of all power

Charles Horton Cooley said “I am not what I think I am and I am not what you think I am; I am what I think you think I am” Before the like button

Human beings would be hopeless but for God being hopelessly in love with us

Told to shut my mouth I took them literally Zipped my lips And held my breath Until I could stomach it no longe…

I had just started explaining smar… When the alien stopped me in mid-s… And explained smart phones to me Originally, in order to monitor an… They were just going to attach

Nobody remembers how to forgive Because posting on social media Is an act of seeking approval

God loves us so much that He sets us up to fail For the journey is infinite As in it never stops And God knew that

Physicists insist that time can flow both forward and backward So, I always insist on sitting in the backward facing seats of th… because I need to be able to see

In families adept at keeping open secrets no one expects you to state the obvious

Funny how as the left lost its sense of humor it became a joke

A mid-life crisis happens when you realize that life is a treadmill which keeps speeding up until you fall off

Known knowns: Who I think you think I am Known unknowns: Who you think I am Unknown unknowns:

You can’t take it with you tells us how to live well But we think it means living forev… and so, we’ve invested in Shell In the hopes that our savings will…