Google Glass never took because smart phones are a prosthetic for the hands not the eyes

It’s become harder than ever to be the court jester– you have to use humor to speak

I’m the kind of guy Who doesn’t ride a motorcycle But always wears a leather helmet

“Life”, as it’s come to be known,… And ends with a grand finale But in between there’s just a lot… And grandiloquent small talk But there are grand plans for a se…

All of the lakes are great But one of the lakes is superior

Like you I was born for greatness And, like you My call to greatness is “A great disturbance in the Force…

I’ll never forget when a guy standing in his front yard confronted me about looking into parked car windows mistaking me for a car thief

When I die I’m go– ing to donate my body to pseudoscience

I always thought everybody was saying It’s better to be safe, then sorry

Women are attracted to men who tak… Because it’s the best possible clu… That he would risk his life for he…

You can either learn to ride a bik… with no hands in order to show off or to free your hands for another task

What else can I say? Is for most people a rhetorical qu… But the poet takes it literally Making it the exception that prove… That everything is a metaphor for…

But you will always get a second chance to make a false impression

You’ll know you’re talking to God When He doesn’t talk back Yet you still have your answer

When an American marries into a brood of Scots it’s a matter of when and not if we overdo it with the family tarta…