Self-flattery will get you everywhere but there’s nowhere left to go

If life is the in-breath and death the out-breath we presume that by ridding ourselves of death we’ll live an infinite in-breath

Unsatisfied with turning on the T… to take our minds off things we’ve taken to turning our minds o…

How many introverts does it take to change a light bulb? None– We turn to an inner light

There’s always an excuse So, there’s never an excuse For running out of excuses

Yes, humans suck– that’s a universal The reason we haven’t been able to fix it is that being a human doesn’t suck for eve…

Here’s the deal: You have no say in any of this but that doesn’t mean you can’t still have your way if you learn to see things our way

If you’ve seen one mirror you’ve seen them all

The revolution will be permanent When nobody means what they say But everybody memes what they say

When the loyal opposition smelled a rat the administration’s defense centered on the fact that it wasn’t the rats that had carrie…

I believe in the great man theory of history because the good man theory of history is so obviously false

I finally realized that when Smokey Bear says Only you can prevent forest fires Only I really believe him

We should all know by now That every day is a do-over But we fail to realize That this means we’re in overtime And our version of overtime

Well at least he died doing something he felt he had no choice about