The bell curve is the Serpent With the lump in the middle Who ate Adam and Eve By convincing us we’re all mostly… But we’ve proven indigestible

Everybody impersonates who they used to be but only some are impostors

It’s almost impossible to tell the difference between self-effacement and self-abasement In the former he stays down to earth

God: Do you trust me? Me: It’s not my fault!

We can’t tell you how anything wor… It’s computers? Nothing works? This party rules! It’s not the only party in town

Jews will tell you Right up front That they believe They are the chosen people WASPs believe that they believe

The difference between poisonous snakes and venomous human beings is that when the snake bites you and explains

In the confession booth I have a confession to make so that I can receive forgiveness In the show trial I have a confession to make up

There were 102 passengers on the… So why only 101 dalmatians?

Life is either A whole lotta nothing Or a whole lotta love Nothing could be easier than love Then again

It’s true that some people have al… But it’s not dumb luck that nobody… The way it works is that People get as much truth as they c… And the rest of their load is good…

Keep in mind that if you’re going to jump from the frying pan into the fire a golden parachute just buys you plenty of time to ponder

There’s a groove I’ve been going… just between heroic and anti-heroi… that’s perfectly romantic But betwixt the truth-teller and the soothsayer

Actually marr– iage is like riding a tan– dem unicycle

People are only willing to wait and see when they already know what they are looking for