As the new Assistant to the Deput… your primary initial responsibilit… 1) Establishing détente between wo… and paleo dietary restriction fact… while maintaining the dining hall’…

Everyone has a shoe size and a city size– I wear an 11 and a half and a 600,000

Tech’s greatest feat is maintaining the illusion that we’re finally rid of the middle man when in fact

The jig is finally up When Mr. Cool Goes to shul

My constant sense of dread Was just a case Of perpetual stage fright In a never-ending performance of c… Now that I’ve dropped the act

We’ve all learned to speak interne… Rendering us one people divided By a common language Of zeros and ones Convinced we’ve broken the code

Living in the Information Age is… looking at a Pointillist painting but you can’t connect the dots

All cars have always been getaway cars because they tell the world how much you’re getting away with but now all cars are SUVs

Strange that we use Out of order for broken and for breaking the rules As if the Coke machine

The world to come is like a signature look that’s always a new look

The biggest risk of immortality is the lack of risk Chances are you’ll be bored to dea… for all eternity

When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs

Power is the ability To maintain your non-negotiables And the world to come Will arrive when we stop trying To negotiate a new deal with God

In order to minimize intra-tribal… while aggressively pursuing class… progressive educated elites turn t… like common schoolyard bullies And the fact that you can only

Time is money But time stops at the speed of lig… Which means the buck stops, too Making enlightenment the act of ta… For how you’ve spent your time