Starting gun to my head I’ll finish what you started And run the race By running in place
There is only one product but infinite ways to package it
My wife now relates to me very much as she does to stinky cheese
When I was a kid people grew on me like grass Now they’re more like sod
By keeping us on screen text messages, direct messages, et… are always mixed messages of the Trust, but verify
I’m not afraid of jumping in front of a bus because I don’t want to jump in front of a bus I am afraid of
The left was once really good at keeping capitalism in check but then they lost their identity and have been looking for one ever… oblivious that it’s long since
The realist doesn’t look at clouds… that describes the escapist The realist looks at clouds and se… from her childhood
Let’s call the before times “The… It’s not what you know It’s who you know But after the social media It’s not who you know
I always thought saying slide trombone was like saying pizza pie until I heard about the valve trombone
The ugly duckling Is not a duck But he is a lucky duck
Human beings would be hopeless but for God being hopelessly in love with us
We call the end of sex the little… And the idea of casual sex Is as absurd as casual death
When America was grouped by right… We could always meet in the middle… This was called democracy But those days are over With America divided into
The easiest way to tell that climate change is a new religion is that it allows for plenty of missed deadlines
