When I die I’m go– ing to donate my body to pseudoscience
People are the opposite of baked potatoes– If you keep poking holes in their theories they will explode
We hit it off: she’d declawed her cats and I’d plucked my cacti’s needles
In the world to come The United Nations will finally r… If you can’t beat ‘em Join ‘em
It’s only once You’ve submitted to God’s will That God will say Surprise Me
I’m not afraid of being alone and I’m not afraid of dying but I am afraid of dying alone
Life’s greatest mystery is how other people could possibly have as little interest in my Spotify playlists
When words fail you’re getting close to the truth But we’re just about to talk ourselves into
Descartes wanted certainty He got it Now we’re stuck with it Uncertain how we get unstuck Does this mean we’re doomed or sav…
An uninterrupted winning streak Can only be had through An unchanging mean streak
Humble pie is A required taste Until it becomes An acquired taste
People thought they could finally come and go as they pleased if they could just be rid of the g… only to find in their absence not just more and bigger gates
I thought I’d flown the co-op by living off the grid And yet I’m still a chicken only now I’m on the skids So I’ve up and joined a commune
You will only find happiness when the answers to the questions What would you do if you knew you… and What would you do if you knew you…
It takes guts to admit you don’t belong but it’s easy to read a sign that says No admission
