All plants and animals die But only human life is A near-death experience Immortality, then Wil be the death of man

“Life”, as it’s come to be known,… And ends with a grand finale But in between there’s just a lot… And grandiloquent small talk But there are grand plans for a se…

In real life we used to say I’ll see your talk and raise you action but that was just too risky Preferring no stakes

First, we learn how to walk Then we learn how to walk away For many of us This takes the rest of our lives But if we never give up

If I were going to rephrase the O… I’d say I believe in God because There’s no better explanation And if I were going to re-explain…

No one is exactly sure why God switched from a pass/fail syst… to having you grade yourself but there have been quite a lot of B-plusses flying ar…

The stapler inevitably jams And it’s always the stapler That jams the copier Except for the times it jams When you try to copy something you…

The internet is the opposite of th… When a memory is repressed you get it back even though you can’t remember it But when it is memory-holed

In phase one we lived in order to live In phase two we talked in order to live In phase three,

The question isn’t Are you doing this the right way? Because there’s no right or wrong… To do the right thing The question is

I’m neither handy nor a dandy but my wife still finds me handy d…

If you’re locked out of your house you can die from exposure but if you’re locked in your house you can die from overexposure

A grown up is someone who knows the right thing to do and does it anyway

It’s a sign of the times that No matter the path you take You will know you are finding God When first you become an embarrass… And only then receive

Of course, the west Still thinks it’s the best And in the postmodern west The best is the worst Which is all well and good