Can’t buy me love but you can buy me likes

In France everyone thinks Scotch tape is crap

The ego is like a booster rocket That starts out incredibly massive But sheds its size As it delivers its payload– The soul–

Just because life is good doesn’t mean it isn’t also too much of a good thing

Life used to be hard And that’s how we liked it So much that we used to say Hurry up and wait In the understanding that

The whole key To reinventing the wheel with cybe… Was making the ratio of the circum… Of a circle to its diameter A rational number

Because, per Morrissey “We hate it when our friends becom… we got rid of success by eliminating all competition except for the number of friends

I’ll never forget when a guy standing in his front yard confronted me about looking into parked car windows mistaking me for a car thief

I could do a passable moonwalk in socks on linoleum but if I put on one glove I had to take off one sock

I couldn’t believe that my first e… was still carrying a torch for me and then I saw all my other ex’s b… carrying a pitch fork

The best way to prevent something from happenin… is to convince people that it already did

A funny thing happened when I told them that you can either laugh or you can cr… No one laughed but for a second

I don’t know what being alone with your thoughts is like for you but for me it’s like I’m watching them

If my peccadillos Are mere cigarillos Why is my hide as thick as an arma…

While others await the second coming my own second shortcoming (the first– keeping the peace