That wasn’t the sky Falling on your head That was the truth gone to ground By playing dead

When I stand before this world I’m afraid to say What I have to ask you About my desire: “Is that too much to ask?”

I’ve wasted most of my life wondering Why do I believe in God? when I should have been asking Why does God believe in me?

If it ain’t broke Don’t fix it So, in case of emergency Break heart To break free

At bottom freedom consists of the possibility that you are wrong

Either like swords all signs have a point Or like the needle of a compass

My analyst says I want to have my cake and put it in a time capsule too

He may have gotten away with mass… But at least we didn’t let him Get away with murder

I can never remember street names navigating strictly by landmarks taking left turns just past abandoned doughnut shops impugning me to keep my marriage

To be the bigger person you need to realize that egos are like animals: the smaller their proportions the greater their proportional str…

When I was a kid the rule was one kid got to pour two glasses of Coke and the other kid

Marriage is a safe harbor until the moment you harbor a grudge

Coffee is for the middle-aged; we need both to shit and get shit done

For those who are real– ly asking, the truth is al– ways multi-tasking

The true test of power today is whether or not you can be forced to accept a forced apology