I was voluntold to make myself sca… But scarcely do they realize In pretending to give me a choice They have unwittingly given me an… Truth or dare?

If I’ve said it once they’ve liked it a thousand times

I often find myself telling God That according to the terms of the… You get what you need God insists I come to terms with the implicati…

A man wants the mother of his children to be a chef in the kitchen “imaginative” in the bedroom a shrink in the living room

When a tone deaf authority insists you watch your tone it’s because they would never ask you to do something they aren’t already doing themselv…

The essay portion of the test Was explaining why The test only consists Of multiple-choice questions So, I wrote:

Heart cancer is vanishingly rare because a heart of gold only spreads love, not gold while a mind of gold inevitably spreads all the way

Just because they’re coming to get you doesn’t mean you’re not paranoid

I’ve never won an argument with my wife but since I learned to let her have the last word I’ve consistently covered the spre…

Mother Goose was always considere… a good enough mother Until lately we realized her failure to smother It was unanimous

When I filter my selfie it becomes a safie

The internet is based on sensual p… Minus three or four of the senses And one or two dimensions of space…

Not much has changed but now I’m a glass is ten per– cent full kind of guy

When the people believe The Constitution protects and uph… Their varying beliefs But when the people don’t believe Embracing nihilism by replacing G…