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Chris Gaither

Chris Gaither

You Wear the New Fitbit Around Your Ankle

While I was waiting for
them to come to their senses
they came to my house

Other works by Chris Gaither...
Before, We Were Charlie Brown; Now, We’re Lucy

Charlie Brown wants To believe Lucy wants To deceive But maybe, just maybe
In Dreams, Water Represents the Emotions

You’ve made Your waterbed Now steep in it
Smartphoney Baloney

It could be the truth if it couldn’t go viral But it’s definitely pravda if it speeds our downward spiral
All Loss Is a Form of Dislocation, but It Is Only Through Loss That We Arrive at God

Like Jacob If you wrestle with the divine Through the darkest hours You will get hurt and limp away Which we call experiencing loss
Haiku

I’m always leaving things at church so the lost and found won’t be empty
Now It’s My Emojis That Have to Wear a Mask

I may have a way with words but the metaverse is fast doing away with words
How to Repress Your Will to Power so You Need Never Bind It to the Will of God

The surest sign That people don’t know what they w… Is when they want to have it both… But since you can’t have it both w… They settle for enforcing one way
A Fully Functioning Theory of Mind Is Actually Quite Rare in Human Beings; It Requires Knowledge That Others’ Mental States May Be Different from One’s Own

Miss Suzie had a scapegoat The scapegoat was Hillel Miss Suzie went to heaven The scapegoat went to Hello terminator
How to Be a Good White Liberal

Carry a pen, should you need to write “Note to self: Congratulations!”
The Force Is Strong in Each of Us, Which is Why “You Can’t Win, Darth.” You see, God Always Turns Each of Us to the Light Before It Is Too Late, So, It’s Never Too Late for Any of Us

If God is good Then why are people so often evil? It might help if you think of it l… Just as we can all access The light side of the Force
Hell Yes

Never trust anyone who doesn’t believe in hell They’re almost always the ones whose idea of heaven is usurping God
Who Said Anything About Talking?

In the digital age we let our fingers do the talking
A Vampire Is Just Someone Who Isn’t Getting Enough Vitamin Deity

Blathering on about the threat of the other is a means of slathering on the notion that blocks the light: If I am not what you lack
Get Real

People ask if God is real But that’s the wrong question The real question is whether or no… We are afraid to ask that question Because we are afraid of what othe…
I Derring-do

When a woman chooses her mate His first real test Is whether he accepts her dare To propose If he does, we already know her an…



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