I won’t rest ‘til O– prah puts me on the cover of her magazine

I’ve reached the age where getting ready for bed is like preparing for a spacewalk

Much like nuclear weapons the whole point of having vacation days is never to use them

You can die a million times Without a single ego death But one ego death is worth One God

I don’t believe in myself So, I must control God I believe in God So, I can control myself

Mother Goose was always considere… a good enough mother Until lately we realized her failure to smother It was unanimous

The internet is the opposite of th… When a memory is repressed you get it back even though you can’t remember it But when it is memory-holed

What if I could just do no wrong Then surely, I’d still get to bel… Perforce, I did nothing And found myself bluffing Whenever I needed to be strong

You can either learn to ride a bik… with no hands in order to show off or to free your hands for another task

If you Buy it You might Like it

We’ve taken the last ember in the ashes for a glimmer of hope

Is it really leading by example when I floss in the office men’s r… after lunch or is this what the Buddhist’s cal… bodhisattva exhibitionism

Google Glass never took because smart phones are a prosthetic for the hands not the eyes