If you’re going to take sick leave… take FMLA

My first meeting with God was ver… I knocked on the door and said “Excuse me?” God didn’t look up from what He w… As He calmly and firmly explained

If you count the rings on a tree stump it will tell you the cost of doing business

When they locked down the third pl… (Houses of worship) And made the first two places (Home and work) Into one place

Guilt is a trap Locking you in The desire of others But God has a plan To set you free

It was only after we debuted our sugar coated raisins to fight back against Craisins that I realized you could win hearts and minds

A poem is worth A thousand pictures A life is worth A thousand paper cuts So, if I were to

We’ve all learned to speak interne… Rendering us one people divided By a common language Of zeros and ones Convinced we’ve broken the code

Gracious me! Now that college Has become a finishing school There are no starter homes

Average academics Have a pet theory Dominant academics Have a pet theory about pet theori…

If you can convince people that something is inevitable they will behave as if it’s already happened making its eventuality a non-event

It takes guts to admit you don’t belong but it’s easy to read a sign that says No admission

People ask if God is real But that’s the wrong question The real question is whether or no… We are afraid to ask that question Because we are afraid of what othe…

The biggest change Since I found God Is who I am Trying to impress Which is how you know

As bumbling first mate to his capt… Gilligan wasn’t in charge But he was the star of the show Which is how the male ego understa…