Why would they still offer A penny for our thoughts When they can buy in bulk

More than anything else They want to kill Jews Because More than anything else They need to be right

Motion picture this: You can take it to the bank But you never know Since there could be a run on the… Or you can give it to God

The three most powerful words in the English language are not I love you; they are So be it

What’s the difference between wind… When what you desire is behind gla… And Windows shopping When what you desire is behind a s… When it’s behind glass

Well at least he died doing something he felt he had no choice about

All dressed down with nowhere to go

My wife now relates to me very much as she does to stinky cheese

Beginner is talking yourself into doing what you are going to do anyway Advanced is talking yourself out of doing

Some people are orchids Some people are dandelions Some people like the ugly duckling are orchids who think they’re dand…

Heads I bite my tongue Tails You cut it off

There are no endings neither happy nor sad– Does this make you happy or sad? I pretend to answer the question by preferring songs that end

You could say I tried stand-up but for the audience it was more like when the flight attendant demonstrates how to put on your own oxygen mask…

In Blade Runner Replicants are slaves Birthed in an adult body With false memories implanted To make their burden somehow beara…

What I lack in hygiene I make up for in sleep hygiene