God gave us creation and said Help yourself and so, we plundered it realizing too late that the only way

The worst part about giving every kid in little league a trophy is the way it has emptied all the… out of acquiring

Everyone wants to live forever because fear is self-perpetuating No one wants to overcome the fear… because courage is selfless

Upon my retirement I thought to myself Maybe now I can get some work don…

If you cut off an arm you are left with a stump to which you affix a prosthetic If you cut off a face you are left with a mask

I thought my alarm clock woke me up each day but the day I realized it had always been a false alarm was the day I realized

Human beings would be hopeless but for God being hopelessly in love with us

Where once an artist was a creator she is now a creative because a noun requires a verb and we’re meant to do nothing which pays well on the internet

Love your enemy but do continue to hate your rival factions

In failing to put the I in team I took the erotic out of neurotic

There is only one product but infinite ways to package it

You’re not allowed to copy from your neighbor because you’re supposed to copy from your teacher

We’d all been taught As the temps got hot That all was for naught And that was our lot So, we’d cashed out and bought

A movement can only cohere around a shared wish and the left sticks together by collectively wishing that Jews deserve what they get

You wanted them all to yourself because they didn’t want anything to do with you and this is the sound of