As the new Assistant to the Deput… your primary initial responsibilit… 1) Establishing détente between wo… and paleo dietary restriction fact… while maintaining the dining hall’…

If you travel through time it’s always the best of times and the worst of times; it’s just the ratio

Modern research methods have detec… that there’s no such thing as a ba… leaving scientists puzzled as to w… the whole bunch is still spoiled

There’s no time like the present: Do it now Like, there’s no time like the pre… Do it now, but from an ironic dist… There’s no time to like the presen…

When given the command “Explain yourself” A believer is someone who answers “I have no explanation” In order to explain everything

If you can control the future through predictive policing– what the Department of Justice describes as “taking data from disparate sources, analyzing them and then using the results to ...

The opposite of modest isn’t immodest, it’s honest The opposite of immodest is confident

Guilty, I’d pled when left for dead for what I had said but as the undead squeezed my bonehead

It’s only once you realize There’s no such thing As your own success That you avoid becoming A victim of your own success

I’m sad to say I’ve never been happier And I’m happy to say I’ve never been sadder All of which is to say

I won’t rest ‘til O– prah puts me on the cover of her magazine

They say Believing that God has a plan for… Is a fantasy But unless you believe in God His plan for you is

I finally realized that when Smokey Bear says Only you can prevent forest fires Only I really believe him

We mistake the feeling of control for the feeling of freedom when freedom actually consists of the courage to take risks Those who encourage us

And so I wake in the morning and I stay inside and I take a deep breath and I let out a sigh and I stream from the top of my ru…