I always like to know where I stand and I always bring an umbrella that can double
There are two types of men: Those who lie to deceive and those who by lying tell you what they really believe There is one type of woman:
Life is simple; the meaning of life is complicated As a man I’m a simple creature but I’ve been married long enough… that women are complicated
Our civilization is like an egg– It can withstand enormous pressure at the top (for the obvious reasons) and bottom
By the time Abraham and Isaac cli… Human beings had long since evolve… Survive danger and avoid death Long enough to overcome death By reproducing and raising offspri…
When we asked Jesus to explain the mechanics of the last being first He answered in yet another parable… It’s like when you’re playing tug…
True belonging Allows for truth So, we belong to no one Even though we deserve each other
Mid-life crisis: the failure to start hoping you don’t get what you want
The day I found out I was as deep as a basket of botto… was the same day I learned that the problem with fishing for compl… is that you can’t throw them back
Post-pandemic life is a broken rec… Where they keep saying If it ain’t broke Don’t fix it
My handwriting analyst said my electronic signature indicates a Type A personality and that’s all she sees anymore I said
You’re not allowed to copy from your neighbor because you’re supposed to copy from your teacher
How many introverts does it take to change a light bulb? None– We turn to an inner light
Like you I was born for greatness And, like you My call to greatness is “A great disturbance in the Force…
The Cookie Monster is just living up to the name Kermit gave him
