On business trips to Moscow I never wear my three piece suit

Where once man strove to move mountains now he settles for making them

“You want fries with that?” used to be a line to mock the working poor How ironic that “You want fries with that?”

If you’re locked out of your house you can die from exposure but if you’re locked in your house you can die from overexposure

The only way to avoid giving the man who has everything more of the same is to give him nothing

Early on a Friday morning Just before I awakened My rabbi said, in a dream So, this is the way the Torah wor… But before he could explain

The reason every man has his price is because he always fails to real… 1. that he can never get what he w… 2. this makes his desire priceless

They say if you expect disappointment then you will never be disappointed But I say

The Fed has one lever to pull– interest rates– to keep all of us consuming

The only way God can love us all the same amoun… Is by loving each of us infinitely And the only way God can love each of us differentl…

What looks like the wreckage of my life is just my crumple zone doing its job

All forms of certainty are mutations of knowing that you must die which is why the true believer is always the most likely

My wife wears her heart on her sle… Yet remains a total mystery– How can she be so sure? I’m sure I don’t know But sure enough

Women give hints So that men will think It was their idea I’ve never been good at taking a h… But I’m good at following orders

God is one And God is the one that got away But God is still the one that’s got a way