When the devil told me “Fuck-up is a noun And so are you” I didn’t know if he meant I’m also a fuck-up

Every night when Smokey Bear would tuck me in… the last thing he always said was Only you can prevent forest fires

Social media submission guidelines… Submissions mustn’t be original wo… Submissions must be exclusive but the exclusion must be implicit… Submissions are always already ove…

Life is a test but I’d been treating it like a quiz– which is a preparation for a test– under the assumption that when I d…

Freedom looks like Total autonomy When really, it’s The deepest connection

The saying goes: We learn from the past, but we don… But the reverse is also true: If we don’t learn from the past, t… In other words

My constant sense of dread Was just a case Of perpetual stage fright In a never-ending performance of c… Now that I’ve dropped the act

Friendly competition is heaven on… Culture war is hell on wheels Of time But now that our culture’s wheels… We’ll soon be out of time

Nietzsche imagined eternal recurre… as the ultimate Yes to life! whereas Jews understand that life is a lot of love and work

The old playbook was all about helping you know the right time to go for it

Life as we know it Is a competition for status In this competition Socialists are unequaled As are you and I

You will find The courage to be great If you first Dare to be grateful

7 in 10 Americans believe in heave… while only 6 in 10 believe in hell which is why the house always wins

The brain is the heart’s fifth chamber and I am the chambermaid

My favorite plot twists have always been quicksand and amnesia but I have this sinking feeling I’m forgetting something