If you take a hot-blooded child and raise him in a cold-blooded cu… don’t be surprised when you get a lukewarm-blooded vulture

To those who say they’ll keep working until they die I say don’t die–

It’s not a wine and cheese crowd unless everyone there hates crowds

In the end no one could be held accountable for the catastrophe not because there weren’t plenty of warning signs

If life is the in-breath and death the out-breath we presume that by ridding ourselves of death we’ll live an infinite in-breath

When civilization was still buildi… deconstruction was all the rage Now that everything we’ve built is… rage is all the rage

American Express changed its slog… “Don’t leave home without it” to “Don’t live life without it” in acknowledgement that

In a great leap forward Nanotech reduced life To avoiding death By turning life Into a video game

You can’t study for the purity test but you can copy from your neighbor

My wife fixed me with a stare that said Really, what haven’t you done for…

The day I found out I was as deep as a basket of botto… was the same day I learned that the problem with fishing for compl… is that you can’t throw them back

Women give hints So that men will think It was their idea I’ve never been good at taking a h… But I’m good at following orders

Everybody knows that the media is a weapon of mass distraction Social media takes the next logica… as a weapon of mass refraction that distorts our vision beyond re…

Abiding means to wait expectantly, defiantly, or submiss… and I typically manage all three in the grocery store checkout line even in the express lane

Rock and roll may be dead but it’s got one of the great corp… like a dead horseshoe crab