The ego is a helicopter equipped to safeguard belonging deter conflict and elevate status

We are gathered around our phones Like little campfires And all we ever hear Are scary stories

Somewhere between 27% and 53% of… none of which students can legally… is wasted Let’s split the difference and call it 40%

The first and most important task when you’re joining a non-hierarch… is finding out who’s really in charge The first and most important task

The first difference between your… When you know your boss’s eyes are… You need to look busy But when you know God’s eyes are… You actually want to get busy

Wittgenstein’s fly in the bottle consults the map for directions to find the map

Upon dying peacefully in my sleep surrounded by family after a long, prosperous life the Grim Reaper looked at me and… I’m glad to see you’ve arrived saf…

What I lack in hygiene I make up for in sleep hygiene

Mid-life crisis: the failure to start hoping you don’t get what you want

If you can convince people that something is inevitable they will behave as if it’s already happened making its eventuality a non-event

Coffee is for the middle-aged; we need both to shit and get shit done

It’s not that you’re jeal– ous, but that you guard your jeal– ousy jealously

With the sexual revolution as with all the other belief syste… what men take as an article of faith women have to wear

You know the (re)normalization of… is in full swing when the New Yor… justifies its publication of a cro… in the shape of a swastika on the start date of Chanukah

Wittgenstein let the fly out of the bottle but western philosophy was soon back on the bottle