If you don’t believe I’m the Led Zeppelin of poetry just wait ‘til you see my poems go over like a lead balloon

Blood is thicker than water Unless it’s blood From a turnip

That wasn’t the sky Falling on your head That was the truth gone to ground By playing dead

Nobody invents themselves so we’re left to choose between perfecting or reinventing ourselve… Nobody’s perfect of course

Hell is having infinite wishes but using them all to wish for infinite wishes Heaven is having infinite wishes but only needing

Given the current nostalgia for shared reality we shouldn’t forget that peak shared reality was mutually assured destruction

Home is where you go and you have to take their shit-eating grin

There’s no time like the present: Do it now Like, there’s no time like the pre… Do it now, but from an ironic dist… There’s no time to like the presen…

When bees come back to the hive From their excursions in the world They do a dance To inform the other bees Where the good nectar is

American Express changed its slog… “Don’t leave home without it” to “Don’t live life without it” in acknowledgement that

It’s not about you; It’s about me– This is how you know She’s breaking up with you It’s not about you;

The American far left lacks a unifying Great Leader because as a cult of narcissists each disparate member belongs to their own

Life itself is depthless As in shallow and superficial Life and death are depthless As in unfathomably deep

You know you must die and yet you must live You can never know if you’re right and yet you must choose So it’s not

It turns out that the afterlife is only as long as you can keep the exit interview go…