God said satis– faction guaranteed; religion is all the fine print
The world is a cast of characters Social media is a caste of caricatures
Our mistake is in believing That a lifetime of events Come varyingly in one of two forms… Blessing or curse When in truth
Relationships are built on trust And the problem isn’t that we cybo… Don’t trust the other side Which was always vanishingly rare But that we don’t trust our own si…
Eat, drink And be merry But don’t drink And derive
The new Speech Code prohibits use of the phrase “Speak for yourself” due to its aggressive tone and threatening connotations
Materialism’s biggest assumption Is that death has the last word Which is why In their fear of death Materialists never let anyone else…
Before you know it The next big thing Is already The next best thing I suppose there’s worse things tha…
If the honeymoon is over And things have gone leaden Rejoice, you have a lot of work to… Which is known as the golden age
I’m never Ready But I’m always Overprepared
When people ask me How are you doing? I tell them That’s above my pay grade
Just as in tennis I play to my opponent’s level in relationships
I don’t have any delusions of grandeur; I have delusions of posthumous grandeur that would retroactively nullify
The funny thing is if you’re continually nervous about getting into a wreck you become a nervous wreck and then
When I was a kid the rule was one kid got to pour two glasses of Coke and the other kid