The US Constitution rules out cruel and unusual punishment but that and a nickel will get you 1% of a cup of coffee now that cruelty is the usual

I used to have my own opinions then I started sharing them

In the digital age we let our fingers do the talking

We should all know by now That every day is a do-over But we fail to realize That this means we’re in overtime And our version of overtime

We used to be able to talk to each… About the world Because we could always say Present company excluded But now that every screen

For twenty years people kept insis… that there was an elephant in the… but I just didn’t see it And then I realized I was the elephant

If my wife could re-draft she says she’d still take me but only after trading back to the second round

Thanks to his bifocals Ben Franklin could see that while we might look like bald… up close we’re clearly turkeys

Unsatisfied with turning on the T… to take our minds off things we’ve taken to turning our minds o…

The mean streets of easy street Lack any meaning– To get there, try going crazy But everybody knows You’d be crazy to try

You can strive for quality and never know if you will get any… You can pursue recognition and never know if you’ve done any… Or you can pretend to do both

Life can seem meaningless But I’ve found that Meaning is never lifeless

A wise man once told me When you don’t know what to do do nothing A wise politician

Having finally found my place I am ready for anything And everything Don’t worry– There’s a place for anyone

It’s important to me to live in a… with museums, big league sports, n… so that I can enjoy staying home Baltimore has a subway I’ve never… When I lived in Los Angeles I ac…