The left believes that the culture war can be won by winning elections The right believes that the culture war can be won

Is it really leading by example when I floss in the office men’s r… after lunch or is this what the Buddhist’s cal… bodhisattva exhibitionism

I try to win but I don’t play to win; I play to play

I won the day when my antagonist branded me a reactionary because, of course, I’m an overreactionary

The last thing Tony Robbins ever… You’re rather sanguine for somebod… he’s an incurable Pollyanna

Change is unknown territory And materialism is the attempt To map the entire territory So that nothing can change Cyberspace then takes the frozen t…

Over the course of life I’ve never managed to finish anyth… but for always completing my course of antibiotics

Climate change is just the latest chapter in our ever-ending story

We think nothing’s shocking since we’ve seen it all when really it’s because we’re blind to the obvious

X marks the spot where cyborgs will receive their o– ver-the-air updates

I can never remember street names navigating strictly by landmarks taking left turns just past abandoned doughnut shops impugning me to keep my marriage

Like Coke for Coca-Cola, Mr. Pibb is short for Mr. Pibb, ABD

We ask people How are you doing? because it’s the easiest way to prevent them from actually telling us how they are doing

You’re not allowed to copy from your neighbor because you’re supposed to copy from your teacher

Instead of a Che Guevara t-shirt I have a Carol Burnett henley