I put out a comedy album Side A was called Wins Side B was called Losses Only one side was funny
Words get in the way and a picture is worth a thousand words
Actually marr– iage is like riding a tan– dem unicycle
A rational actor knows a thing or… First, he knows that by definition a solution solves a problem Second, he knows that
I thought my alarm clock woke me up each day but the day I realized it had always been a false alarm was the day I realized
When did we ditch the Pledge of Allegiance for the wedge of a grievance
In the last stage of capitalism the rich will be ascetics
I was afraid of death which is to say afraid to live until I chose my hill to die on For in deciding where
I tried doing everything right Until I dug a hole Took a right turn at Albuquerque And realized There are no straight lines in my…
I’m still the kind of person who is shocked that you can run out of gas and run out of luck at the exact same time
The left believes that the culture war can be won by winning elections The right believes that the culture war can be won
It’s a modern miracle: With social media You can finally Have your fake And be it too
I can’t get no satisfaction except self-satisfaction and I pity the fool who would want that
I am my own worst enemy But God is my greatest ally I like my odds
For the antisemite the Jews’ most galling offense is the audacity of their survival, decoding the latest antisemitic sl… the smear of “Jewish Supremacy”-
