Just as in tennis I play to my opponent’s level in relationships

You know a civilization by its ass… and ours assumes a great deal of d… To finance that debt we assume that the best predictor of future… is past behavior

It’s almost impossible to tell the difference between self-effacement and self-abasement In the former he stays down to earth

My wife wears her heart on her sle… Yet remains a total mystery– How can she be so sure? I’m sure I don’t know But sure enough

I have half a mind to lose my mind and half a mind to find God The question, natch

Whenever an authority figure says It’s my way or the highway I end up wanting to have it both w…

The ego is like a booster rocket That starts out incredibly massive But sheds its size As it delivers its payload– The soul–

If my wife could re-draft she says she’d still take me but only after trading back to the second round

The older I get the less I pause for effect This is because the clock is ticking and I’d rather not waste my time

For twenty years people kept insis… that there was an elephant in the… but I just didn’t see it And then I realized I was the elephant

Just because they’re coming to get you doesn’t mean you’re not paranoid

When I filter my selfie it becomes a safie

If you pursue any vice long enough you’ll either become bored or addi… scratch that– you’ll either become bored and qui… or bored and addicted

One thing I’ve learned is The good times Weren’t as good As I imagined them to be In fear of the bad times

There aren’t any lines That you can’t cross– This is called free will But there are lines That you can’t uncross–